Addiction happens for many reasons. What it nearly always does is create rifts, painful memories, and intense loss of trust. If your loved one is working towards their addiction treatment, and you want to trust them again, you may, frankly, find it impossible.
- They lied.
- They promised and failed.
- Perhaps they stole from you to feed their addiction.
- They took advantage of your kind heart.
- They made so many mistakes.
The consequences of addiction do not just impact the person in recovery. Family members often suffer seriously. Our family program at The Ranch at Dove Tree in Lubbock, Texas, provides you with the foundation you need to work towards repairing that damage.
How do you rebuild trust and move forward without a constant sense of being let down or watching your back?
Strategies for Rebuilding Trust in Addiction Families
It’s clear that families face difficulties when a loved one is battling a substance use disorder (SUD). Studies indicate that families often suffer social isolation, emotional impact, instability of relationships, and financial burden. Considering those factors, apply the following tips to help you rebuild important relationships in a healthy manner.
Don’t Underestimate the Impact on You
One of the most challenging aspects of addiction recovery for families is recognizing that they, too, suffered damage and instability. Much of the focus of SUD treatment is on the individual with the addiction. Yet, you need to realize your own pain and losses. This disease impacted you as well.
By recognizing this, you open the door for critical conversations. You can share openly and freely what your loved one’s actions did to you. You can provide insight into how this has changed your own life. Communicating that impact is an important part of family systems therapy.
Start Slowly and Build Confidence
When your loved one leaves residential treatment in Lubbock and returns to your daily life, it’s easy to feel anxious and worried. As they become more supportive at home, give them a bit of trust. Start small, such as trusting that they will help with tasks you ask. Give them small responsibilities, like showing up to a family member’s birthday, even if they don’t bring or contribute anything.
Ask for something small. Gain that limited win. Then, move on. You have the right to protect yourself throughout this process.
Create Boundaries
Boundaries act like a line in the sand, providing you with some level of protection. While you certainly want to welcome your loved one back into your life, setting boundaries with loved ones allows you to protect yourself from added trauma and emotional pain. Remember that you can:
- Say no when you simply cannot or do not want to help.
- Honor your own beliefs, no matter what you are facing.
- Respect yourself and loved ones, even if you don’t agree with their goals and statements.
Most importantly, make it clear what you will and will not do for your loved one. For example, you will not:
- Tolerate their continued use of substances
- Provide them with money or other resources if they are dishonest with you
- Let them take advantage of you
Encourage open and friendly communication surrounding these topics. If your loved one starts missing responsibilities or makes promises they don’t keep, tell them. Don’t look the other way in such a critical situation.
Realize Things Will Be Different
SUDs are life-changing experiences. They impact you and your family in many ways. That means going back to the way things used to be isn’t possible. And, that’s okay.
While hard, you cannot hold your loved one to a preconceived notion of what life has to be like to trust them. There will be things you have to accept and move forward. To reestablish trust, you have to be willing to forgive what occurred and move forward.
Over time, our relationship will evolve. It could be a good thing, especially when you both can look back on this phase to recognize the pain and trauma you survived together. However, and this is critical to remember, you don’t have to give your trust without limit. You can, and often you should, move beyond relationships that are unhealthy to you.
Get Into Treatment Yourself to Create a Better Foundation
Turn to The Ranch at Dove Tree now to start on the path to recovery. Remember that addiction is a disease that impacts you and your life as well as that of your loved one. And, for that reason, you deserve support, therapy, and guidance as well. Contact us now to learn more about the role family therapy plays in long-term addiction recovery.
